Wenesday, September 12th:  

We woke after 12 hours of sleep to Vitalie & Violetta serving breakfast out by the pool. We didn't realize just how tired we were until today after we had unplugged our phones and shut off our connection to the rest of the world.

A sweet little tabby kitten hopped the stone fence and joined us. If he had a voice, I'm sure he was saying, "So here's the deal. You're guests here, so you give me food. I'll stop by every morning and be cute for you and I'll make your stay nice and pleasant. Or we can do this the unpleasant way."

Our bodies dropped for 3 more hours of sleep after we finished that amazing meal.  

We paid Kostas another visit after waking from our coma.  He reiterated many of the things he mentioned on our first meeting now that we were more awake.  He told us the story of working for Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie when they had visited Santorini.  We got to talking a bit more and discovered our jobs in marketing and entertainment. He offered us additional VIP services for photographs with Mermaid  Ariana to help advertise the Villas.

The Brabus SmartCar was issued to us.  We learned that this is manufactured by Mercedes and is apparently a hot car here.  I was a bit skeptical until I started driving it around. This car is bloody amazing!  So much leg room for such a tiny little thing and it does 180 degree turns on a dime! Plus, it fits practically anywhere you wouldn’t think to park!  

We decided to do our first shoot on Black Sand Beach in Perissa.  The place was alive with tourists and it was tough to find a good clearing. Luckily we found a bank of rocks near the end of the beach with few people. Of course we had a little audience and a couple of the local lifeguards wanted a few shots with the beautiful mermaid.

The Acropolis Greek Restaurant was just a walk away from where we parked so we headed there for lunch after packing up our gear. I picked it honestly for the gawdy decor of greek statues everywhere. At one moment, someone's scooter had fallen and the storage contents had spilled all over the street. The restaurant employees rushed to pick it up and put everything back. Here in the states, not one person would have moved and everything would have either been run over by passing cars or stolen.

We adventured up to the highest peak of the island to see the Moni Profitou Iliou . The Epar.Od. Pirgou Kallistis wound up along cliffs without any gaurd rails. My balls sucked up into my chest as I looked down at the rising heights.  My wife forgot to use the restaurant's water closet before we set off so she was struggling to keep the prairie dogs at in their burrow.  The roads were rough and she got a really great glute workout.  What made things worse is they're not very good at keeping their restroom stocked with necessities. Saving receipts and pamphlets came in real handy today!

Entrance to Moni Profitou Iliou... Inside Moni Profitou Iliou

A Monk Entering the Monastery

Birdseye View of Episkopi Gonias...

Quick Photoshoot with this sweet bitchin' ass ride

Nicole just couldn't resist this swing...

More sight seeing...

Another Sunset...

Some Santorini Windmill Action...

Theofanis Family Tavern was right at the bottom of the hill from where we were staying. Our waiter was obnoxiously forgetful, but at least he admitted it at the very beggining.

We had another sweet visitor at our table for dinner who ate all our left over fish skin. As before, if he had a voice, I'm sure he said, "I know you met my friend this morning. The same applies to me, if you know what's good for you."

Let's Drive on over to Day 06 - Fira!

Tuesday, September 11th:

In the morning, we couldn’t figure out why the water was so effin’ frigid. The instructions left stated we had to turn on the water heater for 15 minutes before feeling anything hot.  We couldn’t find the switch to turn on said water heater.  I went ahead and took my cold ass army bath while Nicole messaged the owner for further instructions. Turns out the switch was hidden behind the open door that led out to the hallway.  

The fridge was stocked with some of the most delicious bread and cheese!  

The milk was amazing! There was no smell to it and Nicole was able to drink it without dying in her pants.

Windows opened to this beautiful concrete scenescape.

We also found a great many bottles of open liquor; probably left over from all of the past guests.  

There were also an ungodly number of light switches. It was like trying to breaking a code or trying to start up a space station while attempting to decipher which switch turned off or on which light, fan, or power outlet.

Mr. Kostas picked us up around 4am on Tuesday morning to drop us off at the Athens airport.  We were shuttled to board our plane for Santorini out on the apron instead of the accustomed gate ramp.

Santorini was just less than an hour away!

Greek Airplane Shmackiddisnacks!

Our first view of Santorini! <3

Picked up by a shuttle right off the apron again

We were greeted by a gentleman of very few words holding a handwritten sign with our name.  He motioned and grunted a lot.  Thank goodness we men have caveman speak etched into our DNA for easy communication and understanding within our gender.  The air was dusty and there were about a half a dozen dogs sleeping along the curb side. We were loaded up into the Mathios Hotel van and enjoyed a nice quiet ride to Akrotiri.

We arrived at Mathios Village and led to the office behind the front desk where we were greeted with open arms by Kostas.  He was quite the salesman and ran us through all the different options of amenities, car rentals, and tours when can choose to purchase while on our stay.  We were much too tired to pay much attention nor contemplate other activities other than going to bed. Our room wouldn't be ready until 2pm so we had some of the breakfast out in the commons and snoozed by the pool.  

We dropped all of our luggage off in the Villa once they gave us our key.  We had a quick tour of the place and how to work everything. It was pretty engineous to have the electricity available only when the key is present and the air conditioner operational only when all the doors and shutters are closed.  

Just one of the purty flowers in our courtyard…

Showered and headed up to the monastery ruins of Akrotiri up on the top of the hill above where we were staying.

Pathway up to the ruins...

Almost there...

There were hardly any people and we weren’t certain we were even allowed in when we found the entrance. The place didn’t seem maintained with trash scattered about, there were no safety fences along any drop offs or rubble, and no signage as I expect to see at most monuments.  My nuts sucked up into my chest with the rise in height and as I looked off the steep ledges.

Obligatory Model Sitting on the Steps Pose

Obligatory The Wanderer Model Pose

Inside the ruins...

The Agia Throdosia Church in front of the Akrotiri Monastery Ruins

Our Next AirBnB

Nicole found the Bell ropes...

Hiking along the roads of Akrotiri

St. Epifanios Traditional Orthodox Church

Stray cats and dogs loose on the streets…

This sweet ride for rent that just sat there the entire time we were there...

The nutella comes in glass containers here!  Fancy...

We spent the rest of the day hangin' out at our private pool

Obligatory Pool Model Shot

That night we walked down to the Paradise Resort for an early dinner.  We were surprised to hear Wu Tang Clan setting it’s romantic ambience.  The host who seated us gave off the now familiar chill don’t-give-a-shit vibe.  Our waiter was triggering my gay-dar and I couldn’t help but think he did all the super crazy greek contortion acts I saw on those novelty Hellenic sex playing cards sold at all the souvenir shops.  There’s also big racks full of wooden dicks everywhere. Wooden Dicks.

Baklava with Chocolate!!! <3

Shelby was having separation anxiety so Nicole had to have dinner on facetime.

I'm not ashy.  This is how are feet look after every hike in Greece. 

Let's Hike on down to Day 05 - Perissa!

 Monday, September 10th:

We arrived in Athens, Greece first thing before the sun had a chance to rise.  

As expected, my first reaction was to relieve myself at the nearest Water Closet in the Athens airport. There were signs warning not to flush any toilet paper down with your excrements. None. I’ve read that piping in Greece were narrow and may easily clog if paper is flushed down the toilets.  I punched the huge oh-that-was-an-awesome-shit toilet button and took the risk.

I felt a little bit like a celebrity when we saw our taxi driver, Mr. Kostas, standing in the terminal holding a sign up with our last name.  This old guy held a scowl at first, but instantly warmed into a smile once he found his passengers. He was a speed demon racing down Route 64 to our AirBnB.  The car rarely stayed within lines even when there were no other vehicles on the road. I realized the smile he gave us was foreshadowing our death. He played popular American pop ...I can assume it was to help us feel at home and relax.   It's a better way to die.

These were our huge archaic keys for our flat.  They're similar to the ones from Fifth Element and I'm sure they'd open the secrets to Atlantis if I had the chance to explore Athens a bit more.

In the morning, we noticed the streets were patrolled by a number of uniformed personnel.  At first I thought someone may have just gotten murdered around the corner. We discovered we were actually staying right next to the police station so it made up for the unsafe feeling we had last night as we were led along a graffiti laden street and down an unlit set of steps to our flat.  We were greeted with many stares at my wife's breasts as we passed each officer...or were they gawking it her huge necklace. We will never know for sure.

Daylight in front of our AirBnB

The Georgios Karaiskakis Monument

The Panathenaic Stadium was our first stop on our way up to the Acropolis.  We didn’t really see any point of paying to walk within the walls when we can see pretty much everything from outside.  So this was a short visit.

The Panathenaic Stadium is supposedly the only white marble stadium in the world!

More Ballsacks welcoming guests to the Stadium...
We found a little corner cafe called the Coffee Joint.  A sweet old lady who was sitting just outside stood and greeting us as we walked in.  Again, American music played on the intercom, but I was actually pretty amused that the theme to Neverending Story sang as we were seated.  She suggested we try the caramel frappe. Where has this holy sacred juice been all our lives?! The host was obsessed with American 80s Television.  He went on and on about MacGuyver after telling me how he saved a person who was stuck in their basement restroom the day before when the door handle broke.  (My wife was in the restroom at the time)

Our very first Frappe! and first taste of the most deeerishush overseas fresh tomatos

Here's the Wi-Fi info if you're ever in town

Most public toilets didn't have seats... I'm assuming to discourage people from shittin'...?!

Sitting on foreign stairs where foreign people step...

Obligatory Croc Shot...

Our rental broke down so we had to hoof it like native donkeys the rest of the way....

The first monument to visit was the Acropolis.  We went straight to the entrance and was quickly turned away to purchase tickets.  They seemed irate as they turned away customer after customer. It would be understandable if they actually had some noticeable signage to where the ticket booth was.  We made our way further down the path and around the bend to the ticket booth (which was facing away from the monument entrance) and purchased our tickets.

The paths and steps were steep.  The structures are just as majestic as I expected.  

There were plenty of employees walking the area to assist with questions as well as keep the riff raff in check.

Inside the entrance to the Acropolis in front of The Odeion of Herodus Atticus Exterior

The Odeion of Herodus Atticus Exterior

The Propylaea from inside the Acropolis

The view from the Chalkotheke

The Odeion of Herodus Atticus Interior

The Beulé Gate

The Parthenon (front) under construction repairs

The Parthenon's dariare

 I was in the middle of photographing my wife in front of the Parthenon when a lady behind us blows her whistle. “You can’t do that here.  This is a photoshoot. How did they let you in wearing that?” Mind you, everyone’s taking photos and many other women are wearing similar dress if not less than what Nicole was wearing.  Nicole put her black shawl back over her shoulders and wrapped herself up as requested by this lady. We didn't get any shots.  The lady left us alone and we proceeding down towards the Temple of Athena Polias where we shot what we initially intended when we were in front of the main Temple with an open shawl.

The Old Temple of Anthena Polias

Another angle of the Old Temple of Anthena Polias

The entrance to the Old Temple of Anthena Polias

The Pandroseion lies between The Old Temple of Athena Polias and The Erectheion

I saw a  lady with  the same model camera a I had and took this one and only chance of trusting a stranger with my gear to capture this memory from the Acropolis Viewing Point

The Erectheion containing the Porch of Caryatids with the Tomb of Kekrops lying underneath

It was at the Propylaia in front of the great entranceway where the whistle was blown again when my wife attempted to perform a little circus stunt on one of the steps.  

The Propylaea

The Pedestal of Agrippa (left) , The Propylaea (center),  and The Temple of Athena Nike (right)

Vag Stampin' the Steps...

Trademark Croc Pose...

YaY Acropolis!

Exiting the Acropolis through The Propylaea

Obligatory Pay Phone Model Shot

We watched the sun set on Areopagus Hill outside the gates of the Acropolis.

Climbing Aeropagus Hill

A view of the Acropolis and Mount Lycabettus from Aeropagus Hill

Graffiti Rocks of  Areopagus Hill

The Sunset view from Aeropagus Hill

We wandered the market streets and passed many restaurants ambient with greek music.  

Side Street Vendors with a view of The Acropolis

All of the Dicks...

We ended up at a corner restaurant called Gyristroula. 

Per the suggestion of our hostess at the Coffee Joint, Nicole ordered wine and ouzo. I went with some beef and lamb dish. Our waiter became concerned lack of ordering food, not knowing we were going to share, and made sure Nicole ate something before killing her stomach with straight alcohol.

Ouzo is kinda gross and should only be consumed when you're an insane psychopath.   I brought home some extra to give to my best friend.

Fountain of Pnyx entrance

Picked up a set of Komopoloi (Worry Beads) that the travel guides say is a must have souvenir...

The Metropolitan Cathedral of Annunciation and the statue of Archbishop Damaskinos

Oh Hey Lookie!  It's a KFC <3

It was pretty late when we finally made it back to the flat.   We crashed as soon as we entered since we had to wake in just a few hours for our flight to Santorini.

Let's Fly on Over to Day 04 - Santorini!